ROFLMAO

My mate Rob is all class. This is an email he's written to our housemates, it wont make any sense to anyone who doesn't live with me, but I just want to put it here for posterity purposes.

Josie,

I have half a carrot in the fridge. I think it is about to go bad [You know how carrots go limp and languid after a time] - so if you want it, you should eat it.

I hate to waste food! There are so many starving people in this world. Once, when I was travelling the world for 11 years - looking for ancient Persian artifacts, exotic Sir Lanka spices, and loose women - I came across a young child who was so hungry that he was eating his brother's forearm, recently amputated of course. I later consulted a guru about this who informed me that on the 3rd Sunday of every month it is acceptable to masticate on one's family's appendages, in the absence of carrots.

Oh yes, I named the carrot Ravi. And before you dine on Ravi, or any vegetables for that matter, I usually find it appropriate to give thanks to Jesus. And then write a book about him. And then eat the carrot.

God bless,

Robi